


Out of All the Fish in the Sea

by IveGotADarkAlley



Category: no - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-14 23:48:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7196261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IveGotADarkAlley/pseuds/IveGotADarkAlley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a story I wrote for a class and I was really proud of it so I posted it here. It's not a fanfiction or anything but i was really proud of it so it'd be dank if you read it too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of All the Fish in the Sea

Standing in the canned soup aisle of the grocery store, Jack stared at all the cans as they stared back, trying to remember what kind his mother insisted he get. He could not remember for the life of him, nor did he even really think it mattered. So far, being back in New York had not gone so swell for him. 

The moment he arrived in Syracuse from his six hour drive from Georgetown College in Washington D.C., his mother took the opportunity to slave him around again like she always did during his childhood, without even saying the slightest hello. 

“Oh, Jackson! I’m so glad you’re home in time for our family dinner, but could you please run out and get some things for me from the grocery store?” She had said as soon as he walked in, he hadn’t even gotten to take off his jacket or shoes, and she was already shoving a twenty dollar bill in his hands and she was shooing him out the door. He didn’t even have time to cringe at the way his mother always used his full name when speaking to him. And now, he is here, still pondering which can of soup his mother so dearly insisted he get, without even saying the slightest hello. This shouldn’t be such a difficult task for a twenty-two year-old college student about to graduate, but one would be surprised of the brain-frying four years of sleepless college does to an individual. 

Out of the corner of his eye, a woman moved closer to him, but it did not tear him away from his eyes scanning every single can of soup, for it was very mesmerizing the way the fluorescent lights beamed off of the face of Chef Boyardee. He hadn’t even noticed the woman until she was standing right next to him, eyeing him up and down like she’d seen him before but couldn’t quite remember who he was. When he looked up they immediately made eye contact, and that is when Jack remembered exactly who she was. Although a bit older looking than he last remembered seeing her, the dimples in her smile were still very prevalent and her blonde hair still framed her face on the way down to her shoulders, complemented by the denim blue eyes staring right back at him. It took him a moment to realize who she was, but after that moment of realization, he knew exactly who she was, and mentally scolded himself for even thinking for a second he might even forget. 

“Jack, is that you?” The woman asked, eyeing him up and down blatantly now, previously compared to the way she’d been trying to hide it moments ago. Jack was not sure how to respond exactly, even though he remembered exactly who she was, but it had been so long he wasn’t quite sure what the appropriate response would be. So, instead, he naturally smirked and threw his hands into his pockets in a friendly manner, a tendency of his that he’d always done when stuck in an awkward situation, unaware of what to say. The woman instantly squealed in response, a huge smile covering her face, exposing her extremely white teeth to all the cans of soup in the aisle, and enveloped his tall frame into a brief hug. The woman was fairly short compared to his six-foot-tall frame, probably coming up only to his shoulders. It was the kind of hug he hadn’t felt in a very long time, but for the time being while it was happening, it felt like it had only been yesterday the last time the small woman’s arms had been wrapped around him into a cheerful embrace. 

Pulling away, her eyes burned into his with nostalgia, and he continued his sly smirk as if it had never gone away. 

“Yes, it’s me.” Jack smirked even more, the woman grinning even wider, looking him over as if taking in an old photograph from her childhood.

“It’s been so long, I don’t even know where to start.” The woman looked at the floor in thought, studying the glint of the light off the speckled tiles for a few moments, then returning his gaze back up to his, “How’ve you been?”

Jack wasn’t exactly sure how to wrap up the past four years of his life up into one brief small talk conversation in a grocery store on a tight time schedule, but he wasn’t exactly sure how not to do it, either. He knew the woman standing in front of him fairly well, and he knew that she was not one for small talk, so he couldn’t simply get off on the classic “I’ve been okay,” or “It’s been good,” because in everyone’s life, at least something notable has had to have happened in the past four years. 

“I’m doing well now. It’s been a rough four years, but it’s been an adventure, or at least an experience, to say nonetheless.” Jack thought of all the experiences he’d had that’d caused him to say that, ranging from the girlfriend he had at the beginning of college and the mutual ending he never really regretted, to the girlfriend he had dated for two years, preparing to call her his wife for seven months, then how he walked in on her cheating on him with his best friend. It was still a soft subject for him, but he was slowly getting over it. He cheered himself up by reminding himself that he was graduating in five days, ready to walk out of there with a diploma, prepared to move all the way across the country to his dream job. “And how have you been, Carrie?” 

“Oh, there’s really not much to say. I’m a middle aged woman living with her husband and her dog, and ever since Lorelai had left, not much has really happened…” Carrie looked past him, down the aisle, looking like she wasn’t really staring at anything. At the mention of Lorelai’s name, he immediately became alert. He had thought about her every single day ever since the last he talked to her, a hostile, yet remarkable conversation that stung his mind almost always. Although he’d thought about her so often, he’d never spoken about her to anyone, not even his now-closest friends. Nor his girlfriends (and fiancée) he’d had in the past, nor his parents or siblings. It was an even more sensitive topic for him than his fiancée June, so he deemed it appropriate to never speak of his feelings toward one of the most emotional situations in his life. 

“Lorelai… How is she?” He asked with sudden seriousness. Carrie looked back, and he saw Lorelai for a moment. Lorelai had always looked like her mother; the denim blue eyes, the wavy blonde hair, the dimples in her smile when she was really, really happy. They were both exquisitely beautiful women, with exquisitely beautiful personalities. Whoever Lorelai was with now, was a very lucky person. 

She didn’t answer. Only made a serious-like face, her nose scrunching up a bit and her mouth forming into what seemed like a small knot. She looked slightly pained, but also at bliss in the same moment. She pondered her thoughts, since she couldn’t leave him hanging, and then answered, “You don’t know?”

Jack wondered what on earth this could have meant, like it’s built-in knowledge that everyone knows how Lorelai Lanzotti is doing at all times. He didn’t say anything, since the question seemed fairly rhetorical, and when Carrie began speaking he knew his predictions were correct.  
“Oh, honey,” Carrie said sympathetically, rubbing his arm, “I bet she’s wondering how you’re doing too.”

\------------

Lorelai Lanzotti and Jack Meindhart had never really spoken much, even by April of their senior year when Jack had decided to sit somewhere in his European history class to sit next to a girl he fancied named Haley. Haley was an exuberant girl that oozed loud stupid humor, terrible punk music, and sported different brightly colored hair each months. Jack had only spoken to her a few times, and each time she’d made a joke about how his was larger than Kellin Quinn’s ego (a joke that Jack never understood, and all of Haley’s friends would laugh while Jack remained confused). Although, she would always slap his arm and tell him it was all in good fun, he never knew if he should actually be offended or not. 

At one certain instance in class, though, Haley had not been there (but most people knew she skipped class to go to a Falling In Reverse concert she’d been talking about for the last two weeks), which forced him to initiate conversation with the girl that sat on the other side of him: Lorelai Lanzotti. He’d never heard Lorelai utter a word; she just sat there, did her work and came to class on time. Sometimes she came to class late with a bit of paint splattered on her jeans.   
On the inside, Jack was slightly dreading the following period because he didn’t want to face the awkward silences between him and a girl he didn’t know, plus today was the day he planned to ask Haley to prom. Although, he wouldn’t be surprised if she said no and made that dumb joke about his nose again that he didn’t understand. But, on the outside, he had to be the regular, normal guy Jack he usually was. Oh, how he was so prepared for the school year to end already so he could forget about this awful place and graduate and never step foot in a public school ever again. 

Today, however, was a special day, because not only was it the day that they began to pick their final senior projects, but it was the day that they also had to pick their partners for the final senior project. Immediately, Jack was sullen at the fact that he couldn’t ask Haley to be his partner since she’d skipped school to go see a band that probably wasn’t even that good anyway, but either way, he was pretty positive she wasn’t into him in the first place. She would have said no, and made that dumb joke about his nose again that he didn’t understand. 

The first thing he remembered Lorelai doing the moment the teacher announced that the project required partners was sigh heavily and a frustrated look crossed her face. She’d always worked alone, but Jack was pretty sure she had friends. A lot, actually. He’d see her in the art rooms cleaning them out and making jokes with the other art kids, and often times she’d skipped lunch to hang out with the band kids in the band room and play instruments with them. Although, Jack was pretty sure she wasn’t actually in band.   
The moment that Lorelai sighed and the teacher crossed his arms and everyone was whispering to each other and making eye contact with each other from across the room, he had realized that everyone was already sitting next to their foreseeable partner, which left him and Lorelai.   
Lorelai turned to him and said, “So, I guess we’re partners then.” But it wasn’t uttered in a frustrated and loner tone like he had expected, she actually sounded kind of light-hearted and humorous. Jack wasn’t exactly sure what to expect out of the quiet girl, but he had imagined that from only those few words, it was going to be unpredictably extraordinary.

**********

 

Scanning the photo on Lorelai’s dresser, Jack blinked. It featured herself, her mother, and her sister, all in Times Square in Manhattan. All dressed in warm clothing, Jack presumed that they had visited this past winter, realizing that the advertisements on the gargantuan screens behind them were a sign of the times, also. Jack had been in Lorelai’s room plenty of times by now, but each time, he found something new interesting about it even though he’d probably been in there more times than he can count. Lorelai was in her closet, shuffling through old clothes, old boxes, old papers, old bags, attempting to clean it out. “It’s a new chapter in my life,” She’d said, “And I would like to begin it with a clean slate.” 

He watched the pile grow, Lorelai throwing old clothes into a separate pile from the papers, and the papers a separate pile from miscellaneous garbage. He watched as she threw her ninth grade dance team t-shirt into the pile of old clothes, and picked it up, sporting it to her, showing both sides.   
“You’re going to throw this out?” He asked sarcastically, “And forget all the spectacular memories of ninth grade?” 

Lorelai laughed lightly and rolled her eyes, “Yeah, right. And every time I look at it, be reminded of how none of the girls liked me because they all thought I wasn’t skinny enough to be a dancer.” Lorelai grabbed the shirt out of his hand and threw it next to the pile of clothes it was previously in, pointing to it and going, “This is the burn pile.”

Countless papers and articles of clothing later, Jack had retired from standing and examining everything she threw into the piles and sat down on her bed. The bed spread reminded him of a circus, with all the different colored polka dots and stripes and pinwheels, and in the back of his mind, it also sort of reminded him of Haley, because of her extremely indecisive hair. Although he’d never dare speak of her around Lorelai, because every time he did, Lorelai would roll her eyes, sigh with frustration, and say, “Oh, that piece of work. When’s the last time she shut up for more than five minutes at a time?” Lorelai hated Haley, even though Lorelai pretty much liked everyone. But, she did know that Jack liked her, and that was the only part of him she despised. “I’d rather date an ostrich with a prosthetic leg than date her,” and, on other countless occasions, also compared dating her to other irrelevant animals with missing limbs replaced by fake ones. Lately, though, Jack found himself thinking less and less of Haley each day, eventually finding he didn’t really care who her druggie boyfriend was anymore (sometimes, which were more indecisive than her hair color).

Jack began dosing off, getting lost in the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to her ceiling, when Lorelai threw something at him to get his attention. She excitedly held up a piece of cardboard sporting different pictures of Luxembourg, a tiny European country, with mediocrely written facts in sharpie all around the pictures. 

“Look, remember, our senior project!” Lorelai looked at it with a small smile as she presented it to Jack, who sat up on her bed, remembering how much he dreaded doing that project. 

“Oh my God, please, put that in the burn pile. I hated doing that project.” Jack rolled his eyes, sighing exasperatedly with exaggerating, and pointing manically at the pile that only held Lorelai’s least favorite things in the universe. 

Lorelai’s face became slightly sullen, dropping the sudden happiness she just had. “I actually thought the project was kind of fun, I don’t know.” There was a silence. “It was fun with you.”

Jack looked away, feeling like a sudden blanket of some kind of tension just fell over the both of them. He wasn’t sure what to say, because he really did hate doing the project, but Lorelai really did make it interesting. The countless hours of pointless research their teacher made them do that didn’t even end up on their actual presentation was terrible, but it’d probably have gotten done faster if they didn’t do it together after school. Most of their research time was spent playing dumb games online like QWOP and then laughing at it, eventually somehow getting into extremely deep conversations and then Jack or Lorelai making an excuse for having to leave because the tension, although it was the kind of tension neither of them could put their finger on, was getting way too abundant. 

These awkward, tension-filled silences were occurring way too often recently rather than before when the project first started. After the project was over, Jack had continued to invite her out places, and eventually the both of them fell into a very deep friendship, even if it’d only been a month and a half since the end of their project.  
The silence continued, and Jack felt there were many unsaid words, but he wasn’t exactly sure what the words were that needed to be said. “I’m sorry, but I have to go,” He began getting off the bed and grabbing his keys from her desk, “But save the burn pile, I have some stuff I’d like to burn.” Jack walked hurriedly out the door, thinking of all the undelivered letters he’d written to Haley.

*********

“Two, please.” Jack handed the woman his money at the aquarium window, the woman hesitating to put it into the register.

“Couples get ten dollars off if they pay together, today only.” The woman began, handing Jack his money back. He looked at Lorelai for some kind of direction, but she avoided all eye contact with him. One of those tensions was setting in again, the kind that neither of them knew what it was, but each day Jack realized more bits and pieces to what these tensions probably were, but had no clue about how they related to his feelings. He’d yet to figure that out yet, and Lorelai was yet to figure hers out, as well.

“Uh…” Jack stuttered, not knowing if this was the correct decision to make, “We’re actually, um, not a couple.” Jack handed the woman all of his money back, and the woman put it into the register with a look of skepticism. Usually, even if people aren’t together, they’d just say they are anyway. 

Walking into the aquarium, Jack felt the tension continue to get worse and worse as they continued speaking no words since the cashier, but the tension immediately dissipated when Lorelai saw the jellyfish, one of her favorite aquatic animals. Jellyfish made her oddly excited, and when Jack saw Lorelai run over to the different tanks with said excitement resonating off of her with every step, he couldn’t help but smile.

“Look, Jack, look at how cool they look!” Lorelai peered up at him with large eyes and a wide grin, her hands spread on the glass like a child. But Jack didn’t really care about the jellyfish, he was already looking at the best exhibit in this whole place; Lorelai Lanzotti.

Throughout the rest of the day, Jack and Lorelai walked around the aquarium at a leisurely pace, taking as much time as they wanted looking at each exhibit, spending the most time at the touch tank, per Jack’s request to touch a horseshoe crab. 

In the gift shop, Lorelai bought herself all sorts of aquatic-life-shaped candy, excited to eat all of it later while she was going to watch Titanic in her fuzzy socks. A few times that day she’d repeated the same phrase, “This reminds me of the Titanic, I think I’ll watch it later,” And at another point in the day, “Hey, I got these cool fuzzy socks with electric eels on them. I should have worn them today,” And in the gift shop she had said, “I think I’ll watch the Titanic later in those electric eel fuzzy socks while I eat this aquatic-life-shaped candy.” She had said it all with utmost light-heartedness with a low tone of excitement, but it seemed like she had wanted to say something else, but never had gotten around to saying it.

A few minutes into their gift shop adventure, Lorelai had excused herself to the restroom, which left Jack standing by himself for a few moments in an ocean of sea-related merchandise, all probably made in China. He strolled around the shop, looking for anything he may want to purchase for himself, or maybe for his brother or his mom. Neither his brother nor his mom really cared for aquatic things specifically, and Jack himself really only found horseshoe crabs strikingly interesting. 

He came across a rack of stuffed animals, ranging from clown fish to pelicans to cotton-stuffed coral reefs. Scanning the rack, he came across one of an orange squid featuring lilac polka dots, the face of the squid smiling in a cute manner and one of the tentacles sewn in such a way that it made it appear as if it was waving. The squid was even wearing a little top hat, something only that squid could really pull off. The stuffed animal was rather small, small enough to fit in one hand and turn it around viewing all sides of it. He was turning it around in the palm of his hand when the tag fell open, revealing what the inside of it said. 

“I like you a lot, I’m not even squidding!” 

Jack laughed at the pun, putting it back on the shelf and walking away. He walked around the small shop for a few more moments, waiting for Lorelai to finish in the restroom, when he circled back around to the rack of stuffed animals again. He stopped in front of it, his eyes landing back on the small top hat-wearing squid he had previously been examining. On a whim, he picked it up, purchased it, and stuffed it in his pocket. Just as he stuffed it into his pocket, Lorelai came out of the bathroom, and a man told them that they were closing in ten minutes and they had to leave. 

The drive home was not awkward at all, but there was something else in the air that had not been there before when they had driven there, nor had it been in the air at any other point in time, until now. 

Jack pulled up to her driveway, the time nearing eight at night, when he parked and walked her to her front door. The stuffed animal squid was still in his pocket, taunting him to grow a pair and give it to Lorelai before she went inside. 

Approaching her front door, she looked up at him and smiled when they reached the end of her sidewalk. “I had a lot of fun today, Jack. Thank you for taking me out.”

Jack grinned that stupid half-grin in return, taking in her full beauty in the dim light of the porch lamp screwed to the wall behind her. The way it reflected off her blonde hair made it seem golden, which reminded him of the rings of Saturn. Her dimples, the way her wavy hair fell around her cheek bones, the way her denim blue eyes were dim but still shining to him, the way they were both extremely close and smiling at each other; it all seemed like a perfect recipe for the most heartfelt confession of love there has ever been between two eighteen year-olds on a girl’s parent’s front porch. 

And through all of this happening, Jack still thought about the tiny squid in his pocket, begging to come out and be given to its rightful recipient. He removed his hand from her arm, beginning to fumble inside his pocket for the small stuffed animal, and from the few seconds his hand left hers and entered his pocket, Lorelai got a panicked look in her eyes and whispered, “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

She ran inside her front door, turned off the light, and left Jack Meindhart standing on her front porch in the dark, holding a tiny top hat-wearing orange squid in the palm of his hand. 

**********

Jack piled the last of his boxes into the moving truck out front of his home in Syracuse, getting ready to bid a farewell to his family and friends as he was about to move to his college dorm. He’d been accepted into Georgetown College in Washington D.C., a college he’d dreamed of going to since the seventh grade. 

To say that Lorelai was angry (or… stressed?) was sort of an understatement. Ever since the day they went to the aquarium in the middle of July (and it was now nearing the end of August), things had been escalating more and more for the both of them. Then, two weeks ago, Jack noticed Lorelai distancing herself from him slowly, when he began speaking of his dreams for college and the boxes started piling up in his room. 

As of now, Lorelai and Jack had not spoken in three days. And even then, the time that they had spoken to each other three days ago was an awkward, hostile exchange.   
“Having fun packing?” Lorelai had called Jack on the phone, trying to have light-hearted banter. 

“Eh, I guess.” There was an awkward silence, “But I’m excited to move away from my parents. And further away from my brother.” Lorelai laughed. She knew how much Jack didn’t particularly favor his brother. 

Another silence ensued, but this one was not awkward or hostile like their silences had been lately.

“Do you need any help packing? I’ve got nothing else to do.”

“No.” Jack said immediately, “Well, I mean, I think my mom wants tonight to be just family and stuff, you know? My brother’s coming over and my sister’s coming into town with her husband and her kids and-“

“It’s okay, Jack.” Lorelai cut off Jack from his run-on sentence, but feeling slightly hurt at his instance, hostile response of just plain “No.” Even though he did explain, there was still a part of her that had wanted to break down. She felt like she was losing him as a friend.

Jack’s mom began calling for him from upstairs, and he held the phone down from his cheek to reply to his mother’s calls. Quickly, he put the phone back up to his mouth and spoke, “I’m sorry Lorelai. I have to go.” 

And he hung up, not even waiting for her to say goodbye. 

Jack was leaving in less than an hour, and everything was pretty much wrapped up. The only thing he hadn’t done yet was have any type of closure or goodbye with Lorelai. Just as he was thinking of it, someone had knocked on the closed door to his room. Jack mumbled to come in.

A warry looking blonde girl stepped inside, looking sleep-deprived and crept slowly through the door as she shut it behind her. Jack couldn’t help but think there was something off from her usual delightful and humorous aura.

“Lorelai… Hi.” Jack sat up quickly and acknowledged her presence with surprise, thinking she wouldn’t show up to say goodbye, and their interesting relationship was just going to end without any actual closure. But, he wasn’t sure if he was actually glad to see her.

“Hi, Jack.” Lorelai seemed as though she was not here to have light-hearted banter. She took a seat on his bed next to him, put her hand to her forehead and sighed exasperatedly. “I just came to say goodbye.” Jack could hear her exhaling as if she was trying to hold in tears. 

He didn’t say anything. He was too busy studying her body; the way she sat with sulking posture, the over-sized sweater she was wearing in August with the sleeves pulled up to her elbows, the over-sized mesh shorts covering her legs that seemed to be getting skinnier and skinnier as time went on. She felt different.

Jack kept studying her as her palm remained against her forehead when he noticed a white bracelet around her wrist- but not just exactly any bracelet. The bracelet was nearly skin-tight, featuring her name and date of birth. He was filled with an instant sensation of worry.

“What’s this?” He asked, grabbing her wrist and pulling it away from her forehead. He saw her eyes bloodshot and her cheeks slightly stained. A feeling of regret came over him. 

“It’s, um, it’s nothing.” She seemed hesitant in her speech, as if there were words she wanted to say but just didn’t, but what was said was said. He looked at her with begging eyes, wanting to know exactly just what she meant, because Jack was not stupid, and he knew exactly that ‘nothing wrong’ meant ‘everything wrong.’

“Seriously, Jack. It’s nothing.” She ripped her arm away from his grip, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. A hurt look crossed his face, his brows furrowing together and his lips falling slightly downward at the corners, but he chose not to say anything. He needed to choose his battles, and this was not one he would win. 

“I’m sorry, Lorelai.” Jack muttered to the girl sitting next to him, seeming in much more distress than he was, but for a reason that he wasn’t exactly sure of. She turned away from him, wanting to get up, but uttering a few last words.

“Goodbye, Jack.” She took a deep breath, “I’m not saying this is goodbye forever, but it’s goodbye for a long time.” She slowly rose off the bed and headed towards the door, looking back when she was half in, half out of the door.

“A very, very long time.” Lorelai walked latched the door softly, herself on the other side of the hallway. He didn’t even hear the thumping of her feet going down the stairs, it seemed as she had just disappeared. 

That afternoon, he began driving the big move to his new college dorm with his mom and the U-Haul truck. The night he got there and began unpacking, he came across a top-hat wearing squid with a ripped tag. ‘I’m not even squidding!’ was all that the tag said, unaware of when or where the rest of the quote had gone. 

Turning it in his hand, examining the lilac polka dots and the tiny top hat and the cute smile and the waving of the tentacle, he cried for the first time in months.

\----------

“Oh, honey,” Carrie said sympathetically, rubbing his arm, “I bet she’s wondering how you’re doing too.”

“What do you mean?” Jack asked with subtle hostility, slightly flinching away from her touch.

Carrie sighed, closing her eyes and shaking her head. She wasn’t exactly sure how to tell him what she was about to say, but sometimes, even the truth is hard to tell after so many years.

“Lorelai… She loved you, Jack.” Carrie sighed, “And she didn’t want to be burden on you. She knew how much potential you had in places other than here, and she didn’t want to lessen your chances at success.” 

Jack looked at Lorelai’s mother as if she was speaking another language, the amount of questions going through his head a phenomenal amount, and rate at which they were going was faster than deemed possible. But the one main, burning question in his mind; what do you mean?

“Two weeks before you left for college, a tumor was found on her brain stem. The day you left, that morning, the results came back.” Carrie pinched her nose. Even after all these years, she still found it extremely difficult to talk about, “The tumor was malignant.”

Jack stood in the canned soup aisle of the grocery store, baffled off of his feet, not even wanting to hear these following sentences. He knew what he was about to hear, but part of him was telling him to run, run away, because not hearing the truth will make it false, right?

“She passed away in October of that year.” 

Wrong.

Carrie had herself composed, but Jack could tell that on the inside she wanted to scream. He wanted to scream, too, unaware as to why after all of these years, this news would still affect him the same way it would have if he would have received it the day it occurred. His knees weak, the sudden feeling of anxiety, he wasn’t sure how to deal with his emotions. But why hadn’t she told him?

“She didn’t want you to drop everything you had earned just for her. She knew she wasn’t going to make it. She wanted you to live your life without worrying about her.” A tear fell from her eye, “I’m sorry, Jack. I’ve just always dreaded the day that I’d have to tell you that.” Jack’s eyes were glued into nothingness, Carrie stepping toward him and hugging him again, but this time with her tears staining his shirt. He was in too much surprise to feel any specific emotion at once, since he was feeling so many at the same time. It was a circus inside of him, and no one knew who to make the opening act. 

Pulling away from Carrie, she had quickly composed herself, but Jack was still confused on how to feel and how exactly to react. Before he could account for his actions, he found himself speaking.

“Thank you for telling me, Carrie.”

Several days later, a few after his graduation, Jack was sitting in his apartment, alone. His roommate had gone out. He was preparing to move to Seattle to take up the job offer he was proposed, which ‘preparing’ meant him just going through extremely old boxes he never unpacked when he moved in that just got shoved in the back of his closet.   
He came across a box that had no label and he decided to go through it, blowing the dust off the top, the box having obviously been untouched for a very, very long time.   
Upon opening it, he found many old memories of his from high school such as old report cards, school pictures, ribbons from when he won awards at speech and debate tournaments. He found a few pictures from his old friends he hasn’t talked to in years, and old notes he’d written to himself. He kept going through the box, striking the bottom, but one more object had sat at the bottom. 

He took out the object, turning it in his hand, looking into the joyful eyes of the plush squid. It still fit in the palm of his hand, and the polka dots were still lilac and the top hat was still on top of its head and the tentacle was still waving to the world, obviously ignorant of how awful it really is. 

The tag, somehow, was still hanging on by a thread. He opened it, and it read; I’m not even squidding! 

Jack left the box on the floor as he retrieved a sharpie from the kitchen, sitting back down and writing, in small script, right above the still-remaining sentence on the tag.

“I like you a lot!”

He looked down at the tag, examining it in his hand, thinking hard for a moment. He uncapped the sharpie and drew a sharp line.

“I -like- love you a lot!”

And he would for a very, very long time.


End file.
